| I think we named her wrong |
[May. 1st, 2007|04:55 am] |
Is it too late to rename the puppy? Nibbler still fits, but I think that it's an understatement. What about something like Gozer the Destructor?
I never knew that five pounds of cute, fuzzy puppy could be a force of nature. It's not that she doesn't follow rules, either - it's just that her rules and our rules have little do to with each other. It's like having a land piranha in the house.
The Roolz According to Her Nibs
1. Anything on the floor is a puppy toy
2. Any surface that I can reach by standing, jumping, climbing, clawing or fooling someone into lifting me to is part of the floor. Items attached to or constituting another being are also considered to be on the floor.
3. All puppy toys much be chewed with vigor until disintegrating to their component atoms between my teeth. Blood tastes good. Yum. So does paper. In fact, so does anything that The People don't want me to taste, and therefore I must bite everything in the house.
4. The People yelling at me is very amusing, so I make them do it a lot.
5. The words "No" and "Stop" and "Dammit, what are you into NOW?" are obviously praise and encouragement for my feats of rampant destruction.
6. Cocking my head to the side and giving them puppy eyes will always make The People go "Awwww..." and forget why they were mad at me.
7. There is a secret way to Puppy Heaven that can be reached through the sofa, and if I dig long and hard enough at the cushion I will find it.
8. Licking someone's hand a few times will put them off guard so that I can bite it.
I'm sure there are more rules, but these are the ones my other dog has very politely told me about. Unless Kieli was making it all up to get a treat.
Gotta go. Dammit, Nibs, what are you into NOW? |
|
|
